If there is one thing I have learned about autism over the last 2 1/2 years it is that each day if you let it can be an emotional roller coaster. It is crucial to rely on God’s strength rather than your own! For the many people I have met who have special needs children (specifically autism) and do not walk with God daily–I am not sure how they manage. However any rollercoaster such as the Millenium force at Cedar Point (which is the best roller coaster I have ever rode) has its moments. Being at the top and going full speed is what I enjoy!
There are times when it is extremely difficult to deal with autism. It can be draining and unpredictable. If you know me you know I am not a very emotional person, the other night I had a long conversation with God. I looked at some pictures of Dawson when He was between the ages of 6 months and 2 years, the longer I looked at those images the more I cried. Those pictures represent a different life for Ruth and I. It was before we knew about Dawson’s autism. One of the hardest things is not knowing anything that the future holds for your child and letting go of certain expectations. My conversation with God was “Lord please let my son one day speak,” we have no idea if Dawson will ever be able to communicate with words. His ABA therapy and speech therapy has helped him begin to sign, however my selfish heart wants him to say “Daddy!”
Dawson may not be able to speak but He is able to communicate. The week before Christmas I took Dawson to Discover Mills mall and we looked at the fish in Bass Pro Shop and rode the Carousel, the train, and many other quarter taking machines. 
When we were in the process of leaving the mall Dawson grabbed my head and kissed me right on the lips. He obviously had a great time. This moment would be like being at the top of the Millenium Force! Just Keeping it Real. If you would like to make a tax deduction donation for Dawson’s therapy you can do so here. Thank you!
YOU GOT A KISS?!? Oh, Jody – what a blessing for you!! God has the most amazing way of sending us little nods to remind us that He is there, He is listening, and He knows our desires. Your little Dawson is in there, you just have to be there for him and wait – in time, those therapies will bring him out and how exciting it will be for you and your family to see it unfold. God has a purpose for EACH of us, so stay strong and know that this is His desire. The roles that each of us play in the lives of others always fascinates me – none of us are where we are by accident. Even if we can’t understand why we’re where we are, God knows. You have such a special role in that child’s life, and THAT is what God wanted you to do. He gave Dawson to you and Ruth because you will be able to facilitate God’s perfect will for Dawson in a way that no one else could. I know how it is in life when “theory” and “reality” crash head on, but I do not believe there are really that many people out there actually LIVING the life they envisioned for themselves. We wouldn’t NEED God then, would we?
By: Kyndall on January 15, 2009
at 1:39 pm
Thanks for being honest, Jody. I’ve been struggling lately with Bethany’s diabeties. As I watch her grow into a lady I wonder about her long term health. I’m concerned about her ability to have children. I want her to know what life is like without the restrictions she has. One comfort I’ve found is that God isn’t afraid of my emotions. When I’m down, He wants to know. He wants me to tell Him. Sometimes I try and sometimes I don’t. But I know He cares.
Thanks for the reminder, bro! And thanks for being a great example for all parents.
By: Kevin Hartman on January 15, 2009
at 5:54 pm
Jody I just want you to know what anwesome dad I think you are. You have two of the most well behaved boys I know. They are AMAZING little boys! I know it must be tough to not hear your little boy say I love you or Daddy your home! I honestly don’t know how I would handle that if I was in the situation! I know if I were to have a child with a disability I would only hope I would handle it the way you and Ruth have. I am just amazed on how you two have relied on God for everything. I will be praying for you and your family.
By: Kelly Kozma on February 4, 2009
at 10:42 pm
I obviously don’t know what it’s like to have a child with autism but I can imagine how hard it must be. But Iknow God has been there with them the whole way and has a wonderful plan for Dawson. He is nothing short of a miracle!
By: Hayley Oliver on July 30, 2009
at 4:46 pm