There are times when it is extremely difficult to deal with autism. It can be draining and unpredictable. If you know me you know I am not a very emotional person, the other night I had a long conversation with God. I looked at some pictures of Dawson when He was between the ages of 6 months and 2 years, the longer I looked at those images the more I cried. Those pictures represent a different life for Ruth and I.  It was before we knew about Dawson’s autism. One of the hardest things is not knowing anything that the future holds for your child and letting go of certain expectations. My conversation with God was “Lord please let my son one day speak,” we have no idea if Dawson will ever be able to communicate with words. His ABA therapy and speech therapy has helped him begin to sign, however my selfish heart wants him to say “Daddy!”

Dawson may not be able to speak but He is able to communicate. The week before Christmas I took Dawson to Discover Mills mall and we looked at the fish in Bass Pro Shop and rode the Carousel, the train, and many other quarter taking machines. When we were in the process of leaving the mall Dawson grabbed my head and kissed me right on the lips. He obviously had a great time. This moment would be like being at the top of the Millenium Force! Just Keeping it Real. If you would like to make a tax deduction donation for Dawson’s therapy you can do so here. Thank you!

He hit all of his milestones that docter’s look for in a baby, (rolling over, sitting up, eating baby food, sleeping through the night, growing in weight and height).  He babbled and made “baby sounds” as much as any other kid does saying dadadada, mamamama, so we thought all was well.  At some point before he was 2 years old he stopped making those sounds and regressed to making hardly any noises at all.  So we did what our Doctor in NC told us to do–put him in Speech therapy. I’m not sure what caused this incredible regression, some people say shots, some say you are born with autism–the truth is I have no idea. Autism is very real in our world 1 in 94 boys are diagnosed with autism. Our Doctor did not think there was a problem which led us to believe Dawson was simply speech delayed. I’m going to list some of my thoughts so you can understand what a parent goes through.

- We noticed Dawson wasn’t babbling

-I noticed Dawson enjoyed watching the wheel on the stroller go round and round– this is a stim

-He began flapping his arms whenever he was happy

-He didn’t engage with other kids (during playtime)

-He didn’t play with his toys appropriately–He would line up all of his toys into a straight line across the room

-He enjoyed watching things spin (ceiling fan, toys, etc..)

We kept thinking and praying He would somehow snap out of it, as months went by He never really snapped out. The first professionals who gave us a clue that Dawson had autism was the Gwinnett County School System. They informed us they were going to take him out of his Special Education class and put him in a autistic class. This was a HUGE DEAL in our lives like dropping a bomb on us. We pretty much knew at this point Dawson had autism but were still in denial and didn’t want anyone else telling us. Let me put it into perspective for you, I have lost both of my parents, and Dawson’s autism was by far the hardest thing I have ever had to accept. God has been good and Dawson continues to grow and develop. My next post I’ll focus on some of the positives. I just wanted to be Real with you so you can understand what people like us go through. Thank you for your prayers and support. If you would like to help Dawson by giving a gift to help for his therapies through our church here is how to give a gift that is a tax deduction. Thank you.